Missing Milestones and Responsibility

You know, it really sucks.

I hurt my back, as anyone who knows me would be aware of, and it happened at a rather shitty time.  You see, the band that I manage, Arcane, are playing their first interstate show this weekend in Melbourne and I can’t be there.

I should be there; I even have a plane ticket to GET there. But my back just hasn’t healed itself enough for me to risk on the trip.  Considering the journey starts at 6am Saturday morning, the gig is at midnight Saturday night and the return journey is 7am Sunday morning.  Practically 25 hours non-stop I think would just destroy any progress I’ve made on my “active rest” and trying to take it a bit easier on myself to let whatever I’ve done fix itself up.

It made me think to myself, if it was perhaps two or three years ago I’d be on that plane tomorrow morning 100% and would basically have said “FUCK IT” and dealt with whatever relapsed damage I did to my back when I got home.  I’d be able to just rest around the house for weeks and do fuck all.

But you see my dear readers, I have a job now. I have this responsibility that I have to take care of every day Monday to Friday every week of the year. I used to have pretty much unlimited free time to do whatever.  Pursue art work, do music industry stuff, whatever. In those times though, I was pretty much broke.

I’ve gotten myself into that cycle of really liking and appreciating the fact that every week like clockwork now I get a nice little wad of cash put into my bank account.  It’s not a spectacular amount, but it’s better than the situation I was in those two or three years ago.  I come to this office every day, do pretty much the same job over and over again and I get money for it. Responsibility is pretty awesome!

So if I had decided to just be reckless and go to Melbourne sure I’d have a hell of a time, and it’d be awesome to see Arcane play their first show down there. But I’m at a time in my life where I can’t afford to be that reckless dude because I wouldn’t be able to get in to work, which would be bad for cashflow.

And if working on the latest Toehider EP “In All Honesty” has taught me anything it’s that life has nothing to do with integrity and honesty, it’s all completely about making fuckloads of money.

I guess in all of this I could turn the blame onto the band itself.  Afterall it was whist doing work FOR the band that I hurt my back.

So yeah…I guess it’s not because of the increased responsibility I have in my life now that I’m having to miss this milestone…it’s because of Arcane.


Have an awesome show.


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